More Grammy Musings

9pm - Oh Chris Martin, just please go away. You have no talent... and you're lucky to be married to Gwyneth.

My highlights so far:
Bruce -- fantastic. Look for Obama to use "We Take Care of Our Own" during his re-election campaign...

Reba's Joker smile...

When was the last time the Foo Fighters did anything interesting? I mean, besides don a Slayer T-shirt?

Chris Brown looked like he was in a live-action Q-Bert game, for all of you who remember Q-Bert.

LL has done very well for himself -- it's not an easy night given the news of the past 24 hours.

There is no one as classless as Fergie.

Oh, and Marc Anthony looks like Skeletor.

9:05 - I gotta say, the Rihanna song wasn't half bad. I expected to not like it at all. My wife about Coldplay: "These guys are insufferable."

9:06 - Man up Chris Martin and lose the falsetto.

9:07 - I am genuinely excited for Glenn Campbell. And Foster the People with the Beach Boys.

9:09 - OFF TOPIC - My wife says the Chipotle Willie Nelson ad is the best ad ever, and vows to eat there every day for the rest of her life.

9:11 - Victor Cruz? Mario Manningham? Really??? You had a great year and you salsa dance. Whatever. (Frustrated Eagles fan.)

9:13 - Best Rock Performance... Foo Fighters? Sure, give it to the band based on body of work. But they haven't done anything interesting in 15 years.

9:16 - Beach Boys!! Well, maybe just Maroon 5. What a disappointment to be teased with a legend and entertained by the most boring band in the world. The American Coldplay. Banal, boring and utter shite.

9:19 - Foster the People -- Love the trademark suits -- but the lead singer should show a bit more emotion or something... I mean, open your mouth when you're singing...

9:21 - Now it's the Beach Boys -- on their 50th anniversary. With the theremin? Nope... it's a keyboard.

9:22 - love the cutaway of Glen Campbell -- one-time Beach Boys studio guitarist. So sad he's fading away...

9:23 - This really is great... So cool to see them all together. And they sound good. Like they're in their 20s again. Terrific!

9:25 - To answer Colleen's question about the Beach Boys... It took me a while, but I grew into the Beach Boys -- they weren't big in my house when I was a kid but in my adulthood, I've come to really love them. Those are classic pop songs, with arrangements like no one else ever. "God Only Knows" is one of the greatest songs ever written.

9:27 - What's with Adrien Brody? He replaced Thierry Henry in the Federer/Henry/Woods ads for Gillette...

9:31 - Stevie Wonder -- I saw him in Urth Caffe in West Hollywood last year.  Oh come on... Play "Love Me Do" on the harmonica.. that was sounding so good...

9:32 - Sir Paul McCartney... You were the third best Beatle. You only beat out Ringo. Take a bow.

9:36 - Common pays tribute to Gil-Scott Heron. Hipsters everywhere smile.

9:37 - Best R&B -- Give it to El Debarge!!!
Oh, no. Why can cheer for Chris Brown? The guy beats up Rihanna and wins a Grammy. There's no justice.

9:39 - The Civil Wars -- didn't know them, but they sound good. Maybe there's intelligent life in Nashville after all?

9:40 - Pennsylvania's own Taylor Swift. Kate (my wife) loves her. And she's got a banjo. More signs of intelligent life in Nashville. I mean, in a culture where singers don't write their own stuff, I respect Taylor Swift for doing both. She seems like a good kid.

I give you this:

9:50 - Song of the Year - I go for Mumford and Sons but Adele will win it.

9:51 - Yep. Adele wins again. Yawn. Not sure what the big deal with this one is.

9:52 - Kate Beckinsale is dressed like the guy in the Statue of Liberty costume in Midtown.

9:53 - More auto-tune -- from Katy Perry! So now Russell Brand has moved onto Zoey Deschanel? She looks just like Katy Perry. OK, minus the blue hair.

She looks like one of Marge Simpson's sisters. Thelma's sexing it up for the Grammys.

"Prick me with your love pin"? Somewhere Spinal Tap is shaking its collective head and wondering why they never got any love for the line "Poking in your pea patch." Thing is, it was a joke when they sang it...

9:58 - Best Country Album -- Gee, will Blake Shelton win? Nope... Let's give it to the same band that ripped off the Alan Parsons Project and won last year.

10:06 - OK, I will now attempt to get excited by Adele. OK, she does have a great voice, but I can't imagine myself listening to her. At least she doesn't need Auto-Tune. I give her credit for that. But according to her Wikipedia page, she cites The Spice Girls as a major influence and she's a fan of Tottenham Hotspur. That's two strikes...

10:11 - Can't wait for Glen Campbell!!!

10:16 - Taylor Swift intros the Glen Campbell tribute. Nice. Starting with an admirable cover of "Gentle on My Mind"...  and then Blake Shelton doing "Southern Nights", one of my least-favorite Glen songs...
What's Glen going to sing? "Rhinestone"? "Wichita Lineman"? I vote for "Galveston"... I genuinely love Glen Campbell. Of course... it's "Rhinestone Cowboy" ... This is great. He looks good, given what he's going through. And he sounds good... Love the guy...He just owns it out there. Good for him! And there's Sir Paul, singing along. But who are the people texting at the end of the song? Seriously? Texting during Glen Campbell? I weep for the future.

10:25 - "A Grammy moment like you've never seen with Chris Brown..." Why do they love this guy? He's a troglodyte.

10:27 - That's the second time that Pepsi commercial with Elton John playing a king has aired. And I can't help but thinking the best part is the end, with Flavor Flav. Even though the guy has been a walking joke for about 20 years.

Tony Bennett and Carrie Underwood ... together... really? I couldn't care less.

It's 10:30, and I've got to say I figured there would have been a whole lot more of Whitney Houston than there has been...

10:32 - Tony Bennett and Carrie Underwood doing "It Had To Be You"... a major snooze. A better duet is Will Ferrell as Neal Diamond and Kate Hudson as Christina Aguillera.

Best new artist... hmm.. Bon Iver beats out Nicki Minaj? Wow... that's got to be an upset. Justin Vernon seems like a genuinely good guy. And he give Eau Clair, Wisconsin a shout out. And then the music starts to get him off the stage... rude.

10:39 - Applause meter for the dead: Amy Winehouse 7... Nick Ashford... 4 ... Phoebe Snow... 1 ... Jerry Leiber ... 1... Steve Jobs ...2... Heavy D -- 1...  Nate Dogg... 1... No one's clapping??? What gives, people?
Dave Mason... nothing...  Clarence Clemons... nothing.
Whitney Houston -- 3.
And now Jennifer Hudson... singing "I Will Always Love You". Kate and I were trying to figure out who would sing what by Whitney Houston the moment we heard the news she died. It didn't take us long to figure it would be Jennifer Hudson -- someone who's no stranger to tragedy -- and it would be this song.

10:51 - Why can't they play a few clips from Soul Train? Instead, we get this idiot Chris Brown with the most boring band in the world Foo Fighters.

Seriously, I think the last good Foo Fighters single was 2003's "Times Like These". Can anyone argue with me on that?

10:58 - Umm... the Residents called... they want their act back.

10:59 - Really CBS? I have to wait around to "be the first to know" who's going to win Album of the Year? I can tell you right now it will be Adele. No one else is even close.

11:06 - Can I ask what the hell I'm watching right now? Nicki Minaj taking Madonna's "Express Yourself" to a new level. I'm not really paying attention and yet I'm pretty sure I've seen this act before... Except for the levitation and exorcism bits. Yawn.

11:10 -- Lady Antebellum: "Just one year ago we were honored to find out what we could win by ripping off the Alan Parsons Project. I wanted to rip off someone good, but we figured, hey -- this'll get us on the radio."

11:11 -- Record of the Year -- a real shocker -- it's Adele's "Rolling in the Deep." Now we have to listen to that chav accent again...

11:19 - What would happen if you held a match near Diana Ross's hair? I realize it's a wig, but I'm just askin'.

11:19 - Album of the Year -- again... This won't be a surprise. Yep, Adele's won another one.

11:22 - Nice shout out by Adele to Rick Rubin, who she says taught her about "quality control."

11:27 - I think we can come up with a more compelling backup band for Paul McCartney during this closing set: Guitar -- Steve Stevens... Bass -- Les Claypool... and on the drums... Neil Peart!!! Goodnight everybody!!!!